I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
