So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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