Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
