At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
