i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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