There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Floor bacon is actually really good
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
