Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
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I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
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she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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