That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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