According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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