i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
