some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
