I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
