My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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