goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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