its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
