Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
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I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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