Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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