cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize