In the future we'll all be gay
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
