My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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