Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
