i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
