I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
