I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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