I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
