Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
