What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
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And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
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"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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