don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
