I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
