dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
