Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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