and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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