after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize