Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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