I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
