I was born with a shot glass in my hand
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize