Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
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Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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