if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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