don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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