it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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