There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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