This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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