Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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