Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
