Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
