apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
