the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize