While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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