i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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