Me too!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
