nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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