Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
