new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I have feelings that need drinking.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
