Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
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