Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
