**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She is in my trunk
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just had sex bonerless
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Randomize
