Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize