What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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