in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
