We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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